In the early days I thought it was a mistake. I thought it was all a bad dream. That I will wake up and laugh it out as I share it with her. Then as reality sank in I realised that it was not a joke nor was it a dream. I was wide awake, I was there. I was looking around and she was not there. I didn’t see her anywhere and I looked everywhere. They say she is dead! However I wonder if that is possible. I mean is it possible for such a bad thing to happen to such a good person? Such an evil thing to befall my aunt, my mother a good woman?
My aunt is dead. This death thing kind of happens to other people. Now they say it has happened to me? My aunt is dead. I saw them coming in numbers to comfort us. I saw the church coming and singing and reading the Word. These people say we must accept. I saw her close friends coming as well. They also say she is dead. But I always smile when I see them because I see her in them. And also because as they come she might just appear behind them. But she never appears. And they (her friends) also say she is dead.
Well I accept it but deep down I think she will return. I think she will come for me. I mean I love my aunt. She is my mother because I have stayed with her from the age of three. She is the only woman I knew and was close with and shared life with. We have a special thing going between us. Now surely she remembers that and surely she will return. She will come back for us…for me.
However it’s been a year now since they said she died. And she has not returned. Is it possible that she might never return? How long will she die for? She is still dead now and is not coming back for me…for us.
You know what I miss her, big-time. My aunt, a strong woman with a golden heart. A good woman indeed, a woman of faith and prayer. She used to wake up at night and pray. She prayed in tears for us her children. She loved everyone and welcomed every visitor in her house. She never let anyone depart without a cup of tea. She was a woman full of peace. I suppose this is all I have of her…good memories. At least they will never die for they are in my heart. I will cherish them every time I miss her. I still cry some days when I think about her but I guess in time I will be alright.
Have you also lost a loved one to this death thing? Do you still dream about them? Do you still cry over them? Does it feel like yesterday sometimes? Well, do not despair because you are not alone. We all feel like that. It comes and goes. Some days are better than others. It’s just normal so be easy on yourself. You are definitely not crazy.
Our loved ones might be dead and not coming back but we have Jesus. We have the Light and the Lord of the universe with us. He is the King that not only died for us but who also rose again. He came back to life for you to assist you in your journey and to comfort you in all your troubles. You are not alone during the trying times and the sad times of your life.
And He is coming back for you. Yes Jesus is coming back, and just maybe you might see your loved one on the other side.
Till next time…